Its All About Choices

do you recognize this student type?

Gender: male or female
Age: 13-18
Level: beginner to early intermediate
Title: Beginning older student

Character: Seemingly responsible. Eager to play, especially the music he or she knows by ear. Usually has all of the answers. Bordering on independence, but still in need of supervision. Smart. Capable. Possesses one or the other: extreme, unwarranted confidence; or an all too harsh criticism of their skills (which in most cases are adequate or excellent). Sometimes carrying an unattractive attitude to the lesson.

Their biggest challenge: Understanding that their desired level will take time and work. Understanding that they too can reach the same playing level as their their classmate, who most likely started lessons at a younger age. Learning how to MAKE time to practice in order to achieve their goals.

Its all about choices, right? As adults we face simple choices every day. When to eat, how much to eat, what to eat, when to wake up, when to go to work, whether or not to meet our commitments in a timely manner,  how much personal time we allow ourselves, etc… On a deeper level, we must also identify our priorities in life. And along with that, we have to face MORE choices: how much time to give to our endeavors, and how many sacrifices we are willing to make to achieve our goals. Decisions come and go so frequently that often we have already made a decision without giving it a second thought. Its only later that we realize the consequences of the choices we have made — whether good or bad.

Adults have the capability to make responsible decisions that affect his or her life for the better. And if a particular choice was a mistake, we are able to discern how to better think things through in the future. But the particular student type — I’m sure you have at least one of these students in your studio — is still learning how to make the right choices, and to realize that they even have a choice.

So often a teenage student will come to a lesson unprepared, apologizing profusely for their lack of preparation. I am definitely compassionate enough to excuse them for a week, maybe even two. But three?? four?? Inside I am thinking: “Why are you sorry? Didn’t you decide that you weren’t going to practice? Didn’t you decide what to do with your time? Aren’t you the one who wanted lessons in the first place?” And usually I go on with the lesson as if they have practiced, or worse, I will trade in a solid lesson for a practice session. Don’t get me wrong. I think teachers should “practice” with their students. But habitually substituting practice for a lesson only teaches the student that its OKAY to come unprepared.

I have a student who has been taking for a year. She is extremely capable. Has a great ear. Learned music easily in the first two months of lessons (during the summer, when she had large amounts of free time). She shows maturity beyond her age. When school started, things changed. Less time to practice. More demands at school. Extracurricular variables arose. And piano lessons took the back seat.

“Its okay, she’ll make more progress during the summer. I just have to be patient with her now. I’ll take what she can give.” (WRONG!)

But here we are, another year later. The second summer of lessons was less productive than the first. And to my dismay, she’s learned how to not practice, but still make it through a lesson.

“EEK! Did I teach her that? Answer: Yes.”

Very recently she came to her lesson and asked me how she could consistently follow through with practice during the week. She told me that she goes home from her lessons motivated to practice. But for some reason, another week has passed and she realizes that she’s not touched the piano once. Isn’t that interesting? The student is able to see the goal, wants to obtain it, but falls through the cracks week after week.

So what is the secret to following through with our commitments? First of all, the goal must be a priority. If a person doesn’t see something as a priority, it inevetibly will be pushed aside for “more important things.” And quite frankly, I didn’t know if piano was a priority for this particular student. I had her pinned as a high school student who was very strong academically, and had very little time to put into practicing. To my amazement, our discussion revealed that she could make time to practice. School was demanding, but she could be practicing more. Through our conversation she expressed that she didn’t want to waste my time, or her parents money.

I miss judged the school situation. I should have been more proactive about instilling practice. I’m too easy on her, and have allowed her to waste a year. My fault completely.

Beyond setting priorities, a student must realize that the final decision is their responsibility. A teacher can’t do anything to physically make a student practice. Plain and simple: its the student’s choice! I related to my student that she had to decide to practice. We talked about how she should use her practice time most efficiently. I also recommended that she schedule the practice time into her day.

And we came to an agreement that I would occasionally text her a practice reminder.

This student’s situation has helped me cement my standards for older beginning students. I just need to keep a few simple rules in mind. 1) Students have to take responsibility for their work and should view piano as a priority. 2) They must also be willing to follow through with their commitment — not only for me, but for themselves. 3) And I learned that my role as a teacher is to hold students accountable to their commitments. I have to decide to be more demanding of my students, and possibly less compassionate toward their weaknesses.